It seems as though I have unknowingly mastered the art of misinterpretation. I didn’t go to school for it, nor did I spend countless hours intentionally learning how to wield my craft to perfection. No, rather I simply woke up this morning and realized that I, The Lily, have spent the last several years becoming one of its more devoted apprentices. The crazy thing is that I unknowingly devoted all of this time, effort and belief into this art. You see the last few weeks I feel like I’ve been having a battle between a version of myself that no longer exists, and I haven’t been able to figure out why until today.
The truth is that I am free. I am strong, brave, fun, loving, and beautiful on the inside and out. People love being around me because of how much life I have inside of me. I carry JOY with me into every situation. I am never able to be bored because I have TRUTH, and it is ALWAYS full of life. However, I used to be completely locked up. I used to operate under false humility, pride, pain, discouragement, defeat, self-hatred, comparison, self-condemnation, fear, etc. I used to be the complete opposite of who I am today. However, over the last few weeks I have found myself willingly admitting defeat to a battle that was never even fought. It’s almost as if after being victorious and reigning as a champion for the last year, I decided it wasn’t as fun as I thought, went searching for my enemy (the thing I had just defeated), and willingly gave myself up without a fight. THAT IS CRAZY!!! But, that is exactly what I have been doing. I think realistically I took a few months of trying to hunt down my enemy before willingly surrendering. And, as I think back on the last few months I’m completely baffled!
Why would ANYONE in their right mind do such a thing?!?!
Misinterpretation. I finally allowed the Truth to completely set me free. I finally allowed myself to understand what He thought of me rather than what my old-self thought about me. I was and still am completely free. But, my old-self was silently being courted back into my life, and my suitor…MISINTERPRETATION. In all of these years of unknowingly mastering my invisible art, what I was really doing was creating the perfect back door for my old defeated self to come waltzing back into my life. I started lending my ear to misinterpretation, and it began deceitfully licking old wounds until they reopened. It whispered sickening soothing words suggesting that I resurrect old walls that I had torn down in order to protect myself. It reminded me of old lies that I used to try to use to shield myself from any resemblance of pain. It told me to begin to distance myself from the people who I love because love from other people really is too good to be true. It told me that most people love selfishly, and I alone will ever be able to protect myself from pain. And, ever so slowly it began to open up the doors of my heart to the old discouragement, comparison, self-hatred, doubt, and fear. And, ever so slowly I allowed my old-self to come dine at the table with my present free-self. I engaged in conversations and attempted to find some sort of logic in the midst of the two worlds. Was there a third version of me that is actually the right version? Who am I really? And, why do I feel like both people at the same time? And, that’s when it hit me…
I’m not the old me, and it is no longer wanted. The truth will ALWAYS set you free, and I just became a little more liberated. I will not allow misinterpretation to wine and dine my old-self into returning. Fortunately, there is NO ROOM for that version any longer. And as of today, I am dropping my old craft. I will no longer pick up the paint brush and canvas to paint a false reality. I will no longer hear words and twist them in my head to create an entirely different picture by the time they get to my heart. I will not misinterpret the GOODNESS of Jesus. Nor, will I misinterpret the GOODNESS of those I love. And, I especially will not misinterpret ME. I will see myself the way Truth sees me. And, He thinks I’m pretty amazing…every part of me. It’s time to say goodbye. It’s time to master the art of Truth. It’s time to come fully alive.
Picking up a new art,
The Lily
John 8:32
“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
I AM THE LILY 