Category: About Friendship

About Friendship

Bottom’s Up – A Tribute to My Friend

by iamthelilyLeave a Comment on Bottom’s Up – A Tribute to My Friend
Bottom’s Up – A Tribute to My Friend

Death has a way of bringing things to life.  While Death isn’t gracious or kind, it doesn’t have the power to stifle Hope. Somewhere in Death’s ugly and stubborn finality, it still can’t steal the show.  Death’s praises always grow dim. Life has its way of being remembered. The beauty of life cannot be silenced even in death’s wake. It’s song still sings, sweetly gently, each note gliding on the wind of memory and resounding in Hope.

This weekend, I lost a dear friend – a friend who befriended my spirit.  I have spent this last week with so much sadness inside of me because I will so deeply miss the gift of having a friend who cherished the very essence of my spirit.  While the pain hasn’t disappeared, I am also overjoyed that she is now with the truest Friend she will ever know.  So while my emotions may be a whirlwind, I cannot hide for another day the beautiful gift of her friendship.

The best way I can describe this friendship is that within it my spirit was invited into places and spaces where words can no longer unlock doors, and spirit alone creates a melody whose sound unlocks the heavens and pulls down Love.  When spirits join in friendship, they no longer converse – they sing. And, it’s these melodies that voice the beauty in the deepest depths of hearts. The songs transcend the earth. They rise and fall like the waves. Their harmonies blend and stretch – cascading and dancing upon new and forgotten dreams bringing them back to life.  Once these songs begin, they cannot be stopped. Their voices echo through eternity awakening souls, refreshing bones, and healing broken hearts. They are forever old and forever young. Each spirit gives way and makes room for the other in the most beautiful rhythm of movement and grace. Their songs usher in heaven as a reality where pain no longer has a name.  Perfect love resounds. Their notes echo the song of Jesus’ laughter – the pride of His life.

In this friendship the unseen became seen, and the treasures she discovered in me were inspired to shine brighter and bolder.  Walls that had been built up to defend my heart were no match for this friendship because she walked right through them.  The kindness she displayed caused the barrenness of pain and isolation in me to disappear.  Instead, she poured me refreshing glasses of extravagant Love. And just when I thought she had run out, she poured me another glass. I encountered Love in her friendship. My Spirit came alive, and I will forever be thankful for the beauty she shared with me.  

Kathy, thank you for being Jesus to me.  I love you! I know that you are probably completely drunk on Love right now, and I can’t wait to join you again one day soon.

Your Forever Drinking Buddy,

 

The Lily

Proverbs 27:9

“Sweet friendships refresh the soul and awaken our hearts with joy, for good friends are like the anointing oil that yields the fragrant incense of God’s presence.”

About Friendship

A Letter to My Friend

by iamthelilyLeave a Comment on A Letter to My Friend
A Letter to My Friend

Dear Friend,

Thank you…from the bottom of my heart.  The other day we went swimming, and you started giggling because the baby boy inside of you started dancing when you walked into the pool.  I smiled because I love knowing that there is a life growing inside of you.  I smiled because I appreciate how great of a mom you will be to your baby.  And, I smiled because I can’t wait to one day feel that too.  But, then you did something I didn’t expect.  You grabbed my hand and placed it on your belly, and I got to feel your baby boy move his tiny foot or elbow.  And, I was overwhelmed.

I can’t thank you enough for sharing that with me.  The last 6.5 years of trying to conceive and losing three babies has been one of the most up and down roller coasters I have ever experienced.  There was a season of several years where I wanted to hold onto my pain and hide.  I would hide from baby showers, pregnancy announcements, new-born visits, and more.  I allowed pain to go so deep that I could barely hold it together when I was asked by friends when we were planning on trying to have children.

I used to look at babies from a distance…longing to hold them…but not wanting to appear desperate and not wanting to break down.  I didn’t know what to do with the thoughts of jealousy that plagued my heart and mind.  I didn’t know what to do with the disappointment and the fear of disappointment.  I didn’t know what to do with the void that I felt was growing deeper in my heart.  I didn’t  know how tightly I could hold onto hope or for how long.  I didn’t know what to do with the lies that plagued my brain regarding the very essence of my womanhood.  I didn’t know what to do with feeling like I was the most unloved, forgotten, lonely, and unwanted woman on the planet.  I didn’t know how to celebrate others.  I didn’t know how to fix anything.

I remember trying to justify the entire situation by thinking that I could choose gratitude and help other women who were in the same boat.  Maybe if I was good enough, kind enough and loved well enough then just maybe I would be remembered.  Perhaps if I shared enough hope with enough people, then God would look down from Heaven, smile, and bless me with the gift of a child.  But, that’s not how it works.

Hope is not gifted or granted to those who perform well.  Hope is not bestowed upon those who gravel and destroy their value by trying to get everything perfect.  Hope is not a prize to be won.  Hope is not earned or deserved.  Hope is not given to people who only have “the right hearts” or the sincerest of motives.  Hope just comes when it’s time.  It is always waiting nearby.  It stands on the edge waiting to see if you will notice it.  While you are spending your time bathing in the filth of self-pity, anger, and bitterness…hope is ready and waiting to clean you off and clothe you in beauty.  Hope is waiting to grace your lips with a smile, to fill your eyes with light, and to overwhelm your very spirit with joy.  It is waiting to celebrate YOU.

How do you walk in this hope?  You let it take you by surprise.  You can’t plan it.  There is no formula.  You might catch the wave and fall off again, but that’s okay.  It’s not going to leave you.  There will always be a spot for you inside of Hope.  There is a party hat with your name on it, a thousand candles for your dreams to ride upon, and a never-ending celebration waiting for you.  And, the best part of all is that Hope is contagious.  It’s even more infectious than a yawn.  It will spread like wildfire, and you will be released to celebrate with all of the others who choose to receive it.

So, thank you my beautiful friend for surprising me once again with Hope and for allowing me to dream again.  And, thank you sweet baby boy growing inside of my beautiful friend.  You are a carrier of the power of Hope.  I can’t wait to watch you grow into a man of greatness who will set people free and restore in them the audacity to hope and the freedom to dream again because the truth is that you’ve inspired me to sing again.  And one day soon, I’ll kiss those dreams I’ve dreamed, I’ll cradle Hope in my arms, and this part of my song will be complete.

Receiving Gifts I Haven’t Earned,

The Lily