Category: About Life

About Life

The Friend I Never Knew

by iamthelilyLeave a Comment on The Friend I Never Knew

It’s me.  What?  Yeah, it’s true.  After 31 years, I am beginning a new friendship, and it’s with myself.  I know that it may sound weird or crazy, but I just realized that for the majority of my life I have been my own “mean girl.”  Obviously, I didn’t do this intentionally.  I don’t think anyone in their right mind would become their own worst enemy, but somehow that is exactly what I did.

Everyone speaks to themselves whether it is out loud or in their heads.  We all do it.  We are quick to share our opinions, judgments, and offenses.  As soon as we screw up a project at work, we listen to the first thoughts in our head that tell us we are a failure, and then we beat ourselves up over and over again.  And, we don’t stop there.  We continue to listen to the lies, and we remind ourselves about all of the other situations in our lives where we have been in a similar circumstance and have made the same mistakes.  We call ourselves stupid and condemn our potential.  We align with the first accusatory notions that creep into the back of our brains.  We stand in front of the mirror, and we pinpoint every single potential flaw, fixate on it, and project ugliness over our entire body.  We refuse to let ourselves receive a compliment.  We choose to believe that compliments and kind words are actually being laced in sarcasm.  Or, we negate the kindness/compliment because if he/she knew who we really were then he/she would NEVER in a million years dream of showing that same kindness.  We choose to listen to fear, and align ourselves with the lies that we will never be good enough.  We stay in a place of judgement against ourselves as we compare ourselves to both the people we deem better than ourselves and less than.  Our worth comes through our own perverted judgments, and it has FINALLY started to make me sick.

I don’t get it.  We have been so conditioned by society, our environment, and our own personal experiences that we have bought into the lie that we have to be our own worst enemy.  We believe that we will ALWAYS disappoint ourselves.  We will ALWAYS be watched by others because if we are watching ourselves this intently…then EVERYONE must be watching us with the same (if not more) intensity.  We HAVE to be on trial every minute of the day.  Otherwise, we will be deemed a permanent ugly, miserable, outcast who doesn’t know how to dress, has no personality, will never amount to anything, is a terrible example of a human being, and is basically a disgrace to all mankind.  We are not worthy of friends, love, children, family, spouses, or any other significant relationship.  Nor, will we ever be able to have any sort of future.  Dreams are for the birds.  We go home at night, sit in front of the tv for hours, and let the doctrines of others filtrate our minds filling us with even more ammo for tomorrow because there are certain to be a thousand more times the next day in which to view ourselves unfit and unworthy to be loved.

This way of living is DISGUSTING and PERVERSE!  It is THE MOST TWISTED perception that we could ever choose to adopt.  IT MUST STOP!

Over the past few years, I have slowly began shifting my previous paradigm.  Don’t get me wrong, it has taken some time and effort, but it’s shifting.  I’ve had to let go of my control, and I’ve had to allow TRUTH to teach me who I really am.  And, as I’ve started to catch glimpses of my incredible and stunning beauty, I’ve started to become my own friend.  Where I used to adopt and align with the first lies that would pop in my head about myself, I now find myself looking to TRUTH and choosing what He says about me.  I’ve started to encourage myself to pursue my dreams and fight for the things I love.  My heart has begun to heal from the many daggers I’ve thrust into its core.  I look in the mirror, and my mind is flooded with praise and warm accolades of my body.  My eyes have started to sparkle, and my smile doesn’t fade quite as much as it used to.  Through TRUTH, I have unlocked my creativity in ways I never thought were possible.  I pick myself up when I fail, and I remind myself how smart and intelligent I am.  I encourage my spirit to fall deeper in love with TRUTH.  I am becoming quick to forgive myself and to allow grace to flood my heart and mind.  I catch glimpses of the greatness of me, and it causes my face to glow.  I’m not afraid to cast the reflection of TRUTH in a thousand directions because I know that I am the most beautiful carrier of Him that I could ever hope to be.  I’m beginning to look like Him, and as a result…I’ve gained a new friend.

Shifting Paradigms,

– The Lily

Proverbs 17:17a

“A friend loves at all times.”

 

About Life

The Gift of Pain

by iamthelilyLeave a Comment on The Gift of Pain
The Gift of Pain

I never realized that with pain came a gift.  To me, it always seemed to just keep me in an utter state of misery.  It came in all sorts of shapes and sizes, but none of them had a pretty red bow on top.  I’ve seen it come wrapped as a package with the tag labeled grief, disappointment, rejection, shattered dreams, missed opportunities, depression, fear, anxiety, and more.  And, believe me those packages have never been received with welcoming arms.  Instead, they’ve produced thousands upon thousands of tears, hurt, and gut wrenching wails from places deeper inside me than I knew I had. And, then there’s the pain that is deeper than your emotions where it touches your spirit and there are no words to describe those depths.  Never once when first handed these packages did I see them as a gift until now.

My mentor has always said, “Everyone has a mess, but it is up to you whether you will allow it to lead you to misery or to your miracle story.”  And, I’ve realized that this is true.  From a place of pain we have an opportunity to either stay in our misery, or we have the opportunity for a miracle story.  Pain gives us the gift of allowing us to see who God really is, should we choose to look.  It requires a new perspective and new lenses in which we can come face to face with God, and peer into the eyes of Love.

I always knew that Jesus died for our sins, but I had no idea that He actually died for our pain as well.  He doesn’t want us to carry it.  You see, I never knew how GOOD God really is.  I didn’t understand how He could really be truly good when I’ve experience so much pain and everywhere I look, I see others in pain too.  I didn’t understand that when Jesus died it was also because He didn’t want me to have to live in my pain and misery.  He stepped in and asked to take it from me.  His love is so great that He is willing to not just take my pain but also carry it for me so that I don’t have to ever pick it up again.  He wants to protect me, and He desires to give me GOOD gifts in exchange.

And at the same time, in the midst of handing over the pain and then seeing it through His eyes, He allows me the privilege of seeing what He sees and feeling what He feels.  He allows me to feel how much He loves others because He doesn’t value one person more than the next.  He allows me the honor of feeling how His heart grieves when the people He loves reject Him.  And, it isn’t a grief that comes from disappointment spurred by rejection; it’s a grief that comes because the people He loves are choosing to not receive the BEST GIFT that has ever existed – LOVE.  He isn’t grieving out of His own personal offense when we make mistakes and bring pain into our lives.  He is grieving instead because He sees how much pain we are bringing into our lives, and He DOESN’T want us to feel that way – EVER.  It was never His intent.  But, as a result of experiencing pain, giving it to Jesus, and then seeing what He sees, I have chosen to receive this gift of love which brings healing to my spirit and has allowed me to begin to love those around me with a hint of the love that He has for them.

The most beautiful and powerful portrayal of this kind of love that I have experienced through pain is in the movie The Shack.  The only words I have to describe it is that it is the most powerful movie I have ever seen in my entire life, and it has the ability to bring healing to the very spirit of man.  It portrays Love in the truest form, and it demonstrates the gift of pain in the most beautiful way I have ever seen.  If you haven’t seen it, you should watch it.  I know it will bring restoration to the deepest parts of who you are should you choose to let it.

Opening Good Gifts,

-The Lily

John 16:33

I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace. In the world you have tribulation and distress and suffering, but be courageous [be confident, be undaunted, be filled with joy]; I have overcome the world.” [My conquest is accomplished, My victory abiding.]

 

About Life

Loving Your Enemies

by iamthelilyLeave a Comment on Loving Your Enemies
Loving Your Enemies

In our current world we are faced with enemies everyday.  Even if they aren’t our own, we see the pictures of their victims on social media, and we see the pain of persecution on their faces.  We face enemies in our own lives whether big or small, and we are left with a choices.  The first choices we face are whether or not to forgive which is a lesson in and of itself, but once we choose to forgive we are faced with what can be an even more difficult choice – the choice to love.

Loving our enemies doesn’t make any logical sense.  I think many people confuse love with the acceptance of evil, and it leaves a bitter taste in the mouths of the victims.  But, what I am learning is that loving your enemies actually brings you freedom.  However, it is impossible to love your enemy if you don’t know who you are and how valuable you are.  If you come at it from a place of insecurity, then you will find yourself constantly trying to protect yourself.  You will see the need to point the finger at your enemy and hurl what may be “just” accusations toward him/her, but the truth is it will leave in you a never-ending cycle of pain.  And, all I can tell you is that you were meant to live a life of hope and love.

The truth is that no one would bring pain and harm into your life if they really knew who they were – LOVED.  People can only give out of the seeds that have been planted inside of them and that they have chosen to water.  If they have been watering lies, then those lies now have roots and unfortunately those lies are only out to steal, kill and destroy TRUTH.  Therefore, they will attempt to take down anyone and anything that stands in their way, thus resulting in spewing words of hate, stealing joy, betraying friends, rejoicing in selfish gain, living in pride, and the list goes on and on.  People who have forgotten and/or have never known their true value will spend their lives trying to steal the value they see in others for themselves which only brings pain to both parties should the victim allow it to happen.  (Please, understand that I know there are some situations where abuse is taking place, and I am not condoning or supporting any sort of abusive situation.)

This ugly cycle can stop.  It stops the moment we choose to forgive.  But, the best part is that the cycle is re-written the moment we choose to love.  It’s the moment we pray the same prayers we pray for ourselves over our enemies.  It’s the moment our hearts break for the people who are bringing us harm because we can see the pain they live in, and our hearts hurt for their lack of understanding of their true identity.  It’s the moment when fear leaves and Perfect Love walks in the room.  It’s the moment when jealousy is not an option and comparison fades.  It’s the moment when Truth takes the throne and self-protection dies.  It’s the moment of miracles.  It’s the invitation to change not only your world, but the world of everyone that person will encounter because you care just as much about their healing as your own.  And, the best part is that when you reach that place you find true freedom and hope.  You can live without fear and worry.  You can trust completely because you were created to trust the Living God, and He is the one who will sing songs of love over your life and protect your heart.  He will look on you for all of eternity with eyes of love, and He will remember every promise that He has ever spoken to you.  And, He will teach you about true LOVE to where you are so full that NOTHING can take away the knowledge of His goodness.  And, no one can steal your identity because it was never meant to be given to you by man but by the One who has the Eyes of Love.

Today, I challenge you to step into love.  Move beyond forgiveness and into love.  It will look differently for everyone.  It doesn’t mean that you necessarily will ever see your enemy again (or that you should), but it does mean that you can position your heart to pray for the pain inside of your enemy.  It does mean that you can pray for healing and love to reach that person.  Because if you have ever encountered true LOVE, you know how powerful it is.  It is a force that cannot be reckoned with, and it has the power to change even the ugliest of hearts and make it beautiful.  Love is in the business of bringing dead things to life.

Who knows the weight of the power you hold because you more than anyone on this earth have experienced some of the pain that your enemy has walked through because they shared it with you, so you have been given a gift to take that pain and pray for wholeness and healing in a way that only you can.  Who knows what miracles will happen as a result?  Who knows how many lives you will save from experiencing similar pain because you have chosen to love your enemy?  Who knows how much hope and life will come as a result of your love?  I guarantee that it will change the course of history.  And, you will be part of a miracle story that sets you free and full of  joy while unleashing a flood of transforming love on your enemy.  I know that it might be painful, but you don’t have to keep that pain.  You can give it to the One with the Eyes of Love, and I guarantee you that He will carry it for you.  And if it tries to come back, just give it back to Him again.  It can’t stay because it was never meant to be yours in the first place.  You were meant for freedom.  It’s time to come alive and step into love.  It’s time to break free.

Becoming a Lover,

– The Lily

Luke 6: 35-38

“But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. ‘Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.'”

 

About Life

It’s About Direction Not Perfection

by iamthelilyLeave a Comment on It’s About Direction Not Perfection
It’s About Direction Not Perfection

Many people including myself fall into the trap of believing that perfection trumps direction; however, when we align ourselves with this belief, we submit ourselves to bondage. Without realizing it, living under the law of perfection causes us to actually place shackles around our already freed wrists and ankles believing that imprisoning ourselves is a righteous and just act.  We take the whip and strike ourselves every time we fall short.  We listen to the lies of regret and guilt that heap on condemnation all the while accusingly pointing their gnarly fingers at us commanding us to put on even more shackles as the ones we had before were inadequate.  Thus chains keep coming without reprieve, and the most unfortunate part of this story is that we are both the tormentor and the tormented.

Living under the law of perfection comes in many forms.  It rears its head every time we are unable to receive forgiveness from others and/or ourselves.  It shows up in the guise of stress and anxiety.  It keeps us from being able to receive and believe that we are really and truly loved.  It believes that there is always a catch to a person’s kindness towards us as we have an underlying belief that we don’t deserve it.  It masquerades as the idea that there will always be someone better than us; therefore, we will never actually be able to achieve our dreams as someone else is more perfect/deserving.  It breaks down our spirit when we receive any kind of constructive criticism especially when that criticism is unwanted and/or goes against our own perception of the situation.  It stunts growth, and it creates victims and individuals who see failure as a death sentence.

The good news is that this isn’t how we were meant to live.  There IS a better way.  When we shift our motto from one of living under the oppressiveness of perfection to one of focusing on direction, we break free from our chains and are able to flourish.  We are able to begin to receive love as we realize that it is not about our performance or what we bring to the table.  We are able to accept constructive criticism as we are not afraid to grow.  We see failure as an opportunity to learn and become more than we were before.  We believe that we really are forgiven when we wrong others, and therefore our relationships are able to heal and deepen.  We no longer run and hide in shame when we mess up because we realize that our identity is not based on performance.  We allow ourselves the opportunity to live and love.  Instead of weakening ourselves, we strengthen ourselves and in doing so, we begin to change the world.

Through my experience, I have realized that I can only get so far in my own efforts.  I can choose to retrain my mind to come in alignment with this truth; however, when I pair it with the realization that I am loved by God Himself, I reach higher levels than I ever could have experienced on my own.  I can’t explain what happens other than a divine alliance between myself and Truth, and it is the most beautiful miracle I’ve ever experienced.  It is a place of intimacy that breeds life and freedom where grace flows abundantly.  So, I challenge you to invite God into this equation.  Ask Him to show you how to shift your mindset to align with this truth.  You might just be surprised to see how He answers you.

Growing in Grace,

– The Lily

Philippians 3:13-15

“Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you.”
About Life

Real Hope

by iamthelily3 Comments on Real Hope
Real Hope

Real hope comes as a result of truth spoken in love and shielded by faith.  It rides on the wings of anticipation, and it shifts atmospheres.  It can be seen in the eyes of a child or in the smiles of the old.  It is more delicate than a flower, but stronger than an army.  It is water to the soul and a lamp to the misguided.  It brings life wherever it goes. It’s the fuel of miracles and the foundation of dreams.  And, it is real.

The beauty of hope is that it cannot disappoint when it rides on the wings of anticipation.  Anticipation allows us to await eagerly what is to come.  It keeps offense from entering our hearts and minds as it sees every circumstance as an opportunity for a miracle.  It keeps our hearts humble and teachable all the while allowing us to enter into the thrill of the unknown.  It creates a pathway for creativity to spring forth and awaken our passions. Hope then takes those passions and sets them on fire.

Real hope has eyes to see past old ways of thinking and the ability to lock in with the truth.  It can see the gold in any situation no matter what appears to be on the outside, and it doesn’t get confused when the gold is being refined.  You see, the gold is sometimes buried so deeply inside of our circumstances that before it can come to the surface and grow, it needs to be cleaned.  Unfortunately, sometimes when the cleansing waters come, the dirt surrounding the gold turns to mud, and the gold looks even worse than it did before.  But, true hope knows and believes that the bleakness of the mud is a result of something beautiful that is being formed.  Real hope doesn’t get distracted by the ugliness of the outer appearance.  It doesn’t get overwhelmed or fearful that the gold will be stuck in mud forever.  It doesn’t give up and drop the gold back in the dirt.  Real hope has the ability to see that the gold is still there, and that these circumstances are only purifying the gold to bring about its true value regardless of its appearance.

Hope brings about the miraculous.  It is a forerunner for the impossible, and it heals the soul.  Give yourself permission to live in anticipation and rely on hope.  Allow yourself to awaken to new passions, to heal, and to come alive.  And if you get caught in some mud through the process, take the time to find the gold.  You won’t be disappointed.

Looking for Gold,

– The Lily

Proverbs 10:28

“The hope of the righteous brings joy, but the expectation of the wicked will perish.”

About Life

Lies + Truth = Lies

by iamthelilyLeave a Comment on Lies + Truth = Lies

I think that some of the most hurtful lies are not the ones that are blatant and outright, but they are the ones that are sprinkled with truth.  They are the zingers laced in sarcasm, the truth framed in fear, and/or the hope tied to negative expectations.  The most devastating part of these lies is that there is a nugget of truth to them; however, the way in which the truth is communicated sets people up for more pain and confusion than most blatant lies.  These types of lies are masked with a sense of care that appeal to the need of the human heart to be loved, but even though there are bits of truth they are drowned out in the package that they come in – a lie.

These lies not only influence the recipient, but they set the giver up for failure as well.  They produce a sense of genuine care and concern for the other person.  The lies take on the assumption that because there is a bit of truth, then the package in which they are coming in is wrapped in true love and concern for the recipient’s well-being.  Thus, both parties are left reeling in confusion all the while believing that every word and feeling behind the words are evidence of real truth and care.  But, that is not the case.

Real truth can only be given in love.  And, love always hopes, it never gives up, it always believes the best, it is never self-seeking, it doesn’t boast, and it is always given without strings attached.  To discern whether or not your truth is laced in lies, take a step back and evaluate the feelings behind what you are communicating.  Are you picking up old shields of self-protection?  Are you speaking truth to get something in return?  Are you believing the best?

Speaking the truth and loving well requires us to lay down those shields of self-protection.  It asks us to give our trust to Hope and allow Faith and Love to protect us and meet the needs within our hearts.  It requires strength beyond what is humanly possible.  And, it can only truly be done when you find your true Hope and Love from the One who created them.  It’s time to stop lying, to love fiercely, and to hope fervently.  It’s time to trust.

Taking A Risk,

– The Lily

Isaiah 26:3
“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.”