Tag: friendship

About Life

The Friend I Never Knew

by iamthelilyLeave a Comment on The Friend I Never Knew

It’s me.  What?  Yeah, it’s true.  After 31 years, I am beginning a new friendship, and it’s with myself.  I know that it may sound weird or crazy, but I just realized that for the majority of my life I have been my own “mean girl.”  Obviously, I didn’t do this intentionally.  I don’t think anyone in their right mind would become their own worst enemy, but somehow that is exactly what I did.

Everyone speaks to themselves whether it is out loud or in their heads.  We all do it.  We are quick to share our opinions, judgments, and offenses.  As soon as we screw up a project at work, we listen to the first thoughts in our head that tell us we are a failure, and then we beat ourselves up over and over again.  And, we don’t stop there.  We continue to listen to the lies, and we remind ourselves about all of the other situations in our lives where we have been in a similar circumstance and have made the same mistakes.  We call ourselves stupid and condemn our potential.  We align with the first accusatory notions that creep into the back of our brains.  We stand in front of the mirror, and we pinpoint every single potential flaw, fixate on it, and project ugliness over our entire body.  We refuse to let ourselves receive a compliment.  We choose to believe that compliments and kind words are actually being laced in sarcasm.  Or, we negate the kindness/compliment because if he/she knew who we really were then he/she would NEVER in a million years dream of showing that same kindness.  We choose to listen to fear, and align ourselves with the lies that we will never be good enough.  We stay in a place of judgement against ourselves as we compare ourselves to both the people we deem better than ourselves and less than.  Our worth comes through our own perverted judgments, and it has FINALLY started to make me sick.

I don’t get it.  We have been so conditioned by society, our environment, and our own personal experiences that we have bought into the lie that we have to be our own worst enemy.  We believe that we will ALWAYS disappoint ourselves.  We will ALWAYS be watched by others because if we are watching ourselves this intently…then EVERYONE must be watching us with the same (if not more) intensity.  We HAVE to be on trial every minute of the day.  Otherwise, we will be deemed a permanent ugly, miserable, outcast who doesn’t know how to dress, has no personality, will never amount to anything, is a terrible example of a human being, and is basically a disgrace to all mankind.  We are not worthy of friends, love, children, family, spouses, or any other significant relationship.  Nor, will we ever be able to have any sort of future.  Dreams are for the birds.  We go home at night, sit in front of the tv for hours, and let the doctrines of others filtrate our minds filling us with even more ammo for tomorrow because there are certain to be a thousand more times the next day in which to view ourselves unfit and unworthy to be loved.

This way of living is DISGUSTING and PERVERSE!  It is THE MOST TWISTED perception that we could ever choose to adopt.  IT MUST STOP!

Over the past few years, I have slowly began shifting my previous paradigm.  Don’t get me wrong, it has taken some time and effort, but it’s shifting.  I’ve had to let go of my control, and I’ve had to allow TRUTH to teach me who I really am.  And, as I’ve started to catch glimpses of my incredible and stunning beauty, I’ve started to become my own friend.  Where I used to adopt and align with the first lies that would pop in my head about myself, I now find myself looking to TRUTH and choosing what He says about me.  I’ve started to encourage myself to pursue my dreams and fight for the things I love.  My heart has begun to heal from the many daggers I’ve thrust into its core.  I look in the mirror, and my mind is flooded with praise and warm accolades of my body.  My eyes have started to sparkle, and my smile doesn’t fade quite as much as it used to.  Through TRUTH, I have unlocked my creativity in ways I never thought were possible.  I pick myself up when I fail, and I remind myself how smart and intelligent I am.  I encourage my spirit to fall deeper in love with TRUTH.  I am becoming quick to forgive myself and to allow grace to flood my heart and mind.  I catch glimpses of the greatness of me, and it causes my face to glow.  I’m not afraid to cast the reflection of TRUTH in a thousand directions because I know that I am the most beautiful carrier of Him that I could ever hope to be.  I’m beginning to look like Him, and as a result…I’ve gained a new friend.

Shifting Paradigms,

– The Lily

Proverbs 17:17a

“A friend loves at all times.”

 

About Life

Loving Your Enemies

by iamthelilyLeave a Comment on Loving Your Enemies
Loving Your Enemies

In our current world we are faced with enemies everyday.  Even if they aren’t our own, we see the pictures of their victims on social media, and we see the pain of persecution on their faces.  We face enemies in our own lives whether big or small, and we are left with a choices.  The first choices we face are whether or not to forgive which is a lesson in and of itself, but once we choose to forgive we are faced with what can be an even more difficult choice – the choice to love.

Loving our enemies doesn’t make any logical sense.  I think many people confuse love with the acceptance of evil, and it leaves a bitter taste in the mouths of the victims.  But, what I am learning is that loving your enemies actually brings you freedom.  However, it is impossible to love your enemy if you don’t know who you are and how valuable you are.  If you come at it from a place of insecurity, then you will find yourself constantly trying to protect yourself.  You will see the need to point the finger at your enemy and hurl what may be “just” accusations toward him/her, but the truth is it will leave in you a never-ending cycle of pain.  And, all I can tell you is that you were meant to live a life of hope and love.

The truth is that no one would bring pain and harm into your life if they really knew who they were – LOVED.  People can only give out of the seeds that have been planted inside of them and that they have chosen to water.  If they have been watering lies, then those lies now have roots and unfortunately those lies are only out to steal, kill and destroy TRUTH.  Therefore, they will attempt to take down anyone and anything that stands in their way, thus resulting in spewing words of hate, stealing joy, betraying friends, rejoicing in selfish gain, living in pride, and the list goes on and on.  People who have forgotten and/or have never known their true value will spend their lives trying to steal the value they see in others for themselves which only brings pain to both parties should the victim allow it to happen.  (Please, understand that I know there are some situations where abuse is taking place, and I am not condoning or supporting any sort of abusive situation.)

This ugly cycle can stop.  It stops the moment we choose to forgive.  But, the best part is that the cycle is re-written the moment we choose to love.  It’s the moment we pray the same prayers we pray for ourselves over our enemies.  It’s the moment our hearts break for the people who are bringing us harm because we can see the pain they live in, and our hearts hurt for their lack of understanding of their true identity.  It’s the moment when fear leaves and Perfect Love walks in the room.  It’s the moment when jealousy is not an option and comparison fades.  It’s the moment when Truth takes the throne and self-protection dies.  It’s the moment of miracles.  It’s the invitation to change not only your world, but the world of everyone that person will encounter because you care just as much about their healing as your own.  And, the best part is that when you reach that place you find true freedom and hope.  You can live without fear and worry.  You can trust completely because you were created to trust the Living God, and He is the one who will sing songs of love over your life and protect your heart.  He will look on you for all of eternity with eyes of love, and He will remember every promise that He has ever spoken to you.  And, He will teach you about true LOVE to where you are so full that NOTHING can take away the knowledge of His goodness.  And, no one can steal your identity because it was never meant to be given to you by man but by the One who has the Eyes of Love.

Today, I challenge you to step into love.  Move beyond forgiveness and into love.  It will look differently for everyone.  It doesn’t mean that you necessarily will ever see your enemy again (or that you should), but it does mean that you can position your heart to pray for the pain inside of your enemy.  It does mean that you can pray for healing and love to reach that person.  Because if you have ever encountered true LOVE, you know how powerful it is.  It is a force that cannot be reckoned with, and it has the power to change even the ugliest of hearts and make it beautiful.  Love is in the business of bringing dead things to life.

Who knows the weight of the power you hold because you more than anyone on this earth have experienced some of the pain that your enemy has walked through because they shared it with you, so you have been given a gift to take that pain and pray for wholeness and healing in a way that only you can.  Who knows what miracles will happen as a result?  Who knows how many lives you will save from experiencing similar pain because you have chosen to love your enemy?  Who knows how much hope and life will come as a result of your love?  I guarantee that it will change the course of history.  And, you will be part of a miracle story that sets you free and full of  joy while unleashing a flood of transforming love on your enemy.  I know that it might be painful, but you don’t have to keep that pain.  You can give it to the One with the Eyes of Love, and I guarantee you that He will carry it for you.  And if it tries to come back, just give it back to Him again.  It can’t stay because it was never meant to be yours in the first place.  You were meant for freedom.  It’s time to come alive and step into love.  It’s time to break free.

Becoming a Lover,

– The Lily

Luke 6: 35-38

“But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. ‘Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.'”