Tag: God

About Life

The Gift of Pain

by iamthelilyLeave a Comment on The Gift of Pain
The Gift of Pain

I never realized that with pain came a gift.  To me, it always seemed to just keep me in an utter state of misery.  It came in all sorts of shapes and sizes, but none of them had a pretty red bow on top.  I’ve seen it come wrapped as a package with the tag labeled grief, disappointment, rejection, shattered dreams, missed opportunities, depression, fear, anxiety, and more.  And, believe me those packages have never been received with welcoming arms.  Instead, they’ve produced thousands upon thousands of tears, hurt, and gut wrenching wails from places deeper inside me than I knew I had. And, then there’s the pain that is deeper than your emotions where it touches your spirit and there are no words to describe those depths.  Never once when first handed these packages did I see them as a gift until now.

My mentor has always said, “Everyone has a mess, but it is up to you whether you will allow it to lead you to misery or to your miracle story.”  And, I’ve realized that this is true.  From a place of pain we have an opportunity to either stay in our misery, or we have the opportunity for a miracle story.  Pain gives us the gift of allowing us to see who God really is, should we choose to look.  It requires a new perspective and new lenses in which we can come face to face with God, and peer into the eyes of Love.

I always knew that Jesus died for our sins, but I had no idea that He actually died for our pain as well.  He doesn’t want us to carry it.  You see, I never knew how GOOD God really is.  I didn’t understand how He could really be truly good when I’ve experience so much pain and everywhere I look, I see others in pain too.  I didn’t understand that when Jesus died it was also because He didn’t want me to have to live in my pain and misery.  He stepped in and asked to take it from me.  His love is so great that He is willing to not just take my pain but also carry it for me so that I don’t have to ever pick it up again.  He wants to protect me, and He desires to give me GOOD gifts in exchange.

And at the same time, in the midst of handing over the pain and then seeing it through His eyes, He allows me the privilege of seeing what He sees and feeling what He feels.  He allows me to feel how much He loves others because He doesn’t value one person more than the next.  He allows me the honor of feeling how His heart grieves when the people He loves reject Him.  And, it isn’t a grief that comes from disappointment spurred by rejection; it’s a grief that comes because the people He loves are choosing to not receive the BEST GIFT that has ever existed – LOVE.  He isn’t grieving out of His own personal offense when we make mistakes and bring pain into our lives.  He is grieving instead because He sees how much pain we are bringing into our lives, and He DOESN’T want us to feel that way – EVER.  It was never His intent.  But, as a result of experiencing pain, giving it to Jesus, and then seeing what He sees, I have chosen to receive this gift of love which brings healing to my spirit and has allowed me to begin to love those around me with a hint of the love that He has for them.

The most beautiful and powerful portrayal of this kind of love that I have experienced through pain is in the movie The Shack.  The only words I have to describe it is that it is the most powerful movie I have ever seen in my entire life, and it has the ability to bring healing to the very spirit of man.  It portrays Love in the truest form, and it demonstrates the gift of pain in the most beautiful way I have ever seen.  If you haven’t seen it, you should watch it.  I know it will bring restoration to the deepest parts of who you are should you choose to let it.

Opening Good Gifts,

-The Lily

John 16:33

I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace. In the world you have tribulation and distress and suffering, but be courageous [be confident, be undaunted, be filled with joy]; I have overcome the world.” [My conquest is accomplished, My victory abiding.]

 

About Marriage

Finding the Right Pieces

by iamthelilyLeave a Comment on Finding the Right Pieces
Finding the Right Pieces

You can’t always control the thoughts that come through your head, and I used to think that many of the thoughts that came through my head meant that I was defined by them; however, what I have come to realize is that it isn’t true.   Yesterday, was a day of putting back together puzzle pieces that I had knocked to the floor two days ago.  However, yesterday as I was putting back the pieces, I managed to grab a few pieces that looked like they fit, but in reality didn’t fit at all…

Even though I made a conscious choice yesterday to choose to put the pieces of the puzzle back together, fear still tried to slip in and get me off track.  Even this morning, it reared its ugly head attempting to get me to hold onto offenses in order to self-protect, to swallow the poison it wanted to attach to genuine acts of love from those I love, and to get lost in its destructive nature.  It almost felt like fear was sitting right next to me handing me puzzle pieces that looked exactly like the real ones, but when I tried to make them fit it didn’t work.  Not to mention, when I stepped back from the puzzle, they looked counterfeit.

The good news is that fear did not win.  And just because I had those involuntary thoughts (that had I chosen to believe them would have not only negatively impacted me but also those I love), doesn’t mean that I am still a slave to fear!  It’s just not who I am.  I am someone who believes the best in all circumstances, even when it’s hard.

This morning when I woke up and fear started attempting to get me to align with its lies, I went into our room and shared my thoughts with my husband.  And, I was blown away by the grace he gave me as I voiced some of the lies that were trying to creep into my brain.  One of fear’s goals is to not only rob you of everything you are and the relationships you have, but it also wants to ISOLATE you to where you feel completely alone and like you can trust no one.  It puts you in a place where you begin to question the motives of everyone you meet because it tells you that in order to be safe, you have to protect yourself.  And, that is just not true.

As soon as I had voiced the fears that were trying to influence me, instead of being offended or trying to self-protect like most of us tend to do (especially with the ones closest to us), my husband laid down his opportunity to pick up offense and cared with and for me.  He spoke truth and peace over me, and as he prayed for me all of those fears vanished.  It was like a heavy fog of confusion lifted, and I could see clearly again.  My husband’s love for me is the most beautiful gift I have ever received.  He has taught me what it looks like to be loved unconditionally.  He has shown me what it means to truly love and fight for the ones you love.  He never gives up even when it is hard.  He has given me grace over and over again.  He doesn’t hold things against me or shut me out because he walks in the confidence of who he was created to be.  He willing lays down his own shields of self-protection and instead takes up his shield of faith because he knows Truth intimately, and he is not afraid.  He is teaching me how to love and give grace abundantly, and it is the most beautiful gift I have ever received.

Today, as I finish out my day I have hope because the involuntary thoughts that come to me are seeds waiting to be planted.  They are not part of who I am, but I get to choose what I am going to do with them.  I have the power to plant and water them or to reject them, but regardless they do not define who I am.  And should fear attempt to knock on my door again today, I will thank God for what He has saved me from, and I will plant a seed of faith in its place because I am becoming the woman I was made to be.  And, I will not stop on this journey.  I will not give up because if I don’t quit…I win.

Planting Seeds and Making Things Right,

– The Lily

Romans 12:2

“And do not be conformed to this world [any longer with its superficial values and customs], but be transformed and progressively changed [as you mature spiritually] by the renewing of your mind [focusing on godly values and ethical attitudes], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His plan and purpose for you].”

About Marriage

Putting the Puzzle Together Again

by iamthelilyLeave a Comment on Putting the Puzzle Together Again
Putting the Puzzle Together Again

Every Christmas my husband and I buy a puzzle to put together.  This tradition has allowed us to unintentionally slow down while affording us the opportunity to connect.  I normally put the puzzle out at the beginning of December, and it takes a few weeks for us to put it together.  We spend the time finding the right pieces while talking about our dreams, reflecting on the past, and enjoying the present.  As we connect, we continually find ourselves looking back at the picture on the box to make sure that we are on the right track.  These are some of my all-time favorite moments because for a few hours each day it feels as if I’m transported into a simpler time where dreams are made while neighbors are caroling and hearts are intertwined over steamy mugs of cocoa.  It’s funny because these are some of the moments I cherish the most because of how closely connected I feel to my husband during those hours.

Once our puzzle is finished, we will leave it on display for a week or so, but then comes the day when we take it down.  The funny thing is that we both put so much work into it, but normally it is only one of us who puts it away.  Instead of hours it took to build, it only takes about 30 seconds to break it apart and put it back in the box.  And, unfortunately sometimes the puzzle box tips over and a piece or two gets lost into the abyss never to be found again.

Yesterday, felt like one of those puzzle demolition days.  As I was reflecting today on all that occurred yesterday, I realized how easy it is to destroy beautiful things, and at the same time how much time, energy, and commitment it takes to build something beautiful.  This is especially true with the relationships in our lives.  It’s true that we either operate out of fear or love – that’s it.  Every thought that enters our brains, every word we say, every action we take, they are all motivated out of one or the other.  And, both take time to cultivate and mature; however, I believe that it is easier to choose fear more consistently.  The harder choice for me tends to be love, especially in the relationships I have with the people I care about the most.  You see, the truth is that I don’t want to get hurt, and therefore…I attempt to pick back up those old dingy worthless shields I’ve made for myself.  You know, the ones that don’t work and actually make things worse?  Yeah, for some reason my brain sometimes gets tricked into not completely separating myself from them.

Yesterday, I chose to see the world through fear in an attempt to protect myself, and as a result I hurt not only myself, but also people that I love.  The worse part about it is that NOTHING about fear is LOGICAL.  It operates out of lies and influences our imaginations to think of the MOST ABSURD things.  And, if we allow it to creep in or give it a voice, it does much more than simply change our lens of perception.  Additionally, fear hurls situations, memories, conspiracies, and more lies at us because it knows that we are no longer looking through the lens of love and truth.  And, that’s where it begins destroying not only us but also the people we love and trust.  It’s like a tornado – it is always changing course and we never know quite how destructive it will be, but what I can tell you is that it will ALWAYS bring pain.

Fear will take years of positive and intimate relationships with family and friends and attempt to destroy them all within a month or two.  And, then as you begin to rebuild those relationships, it will lace kind words and true love with poison to where every time you go to receive love it is twisted and ends up wreaking of death and ill will.  It will attempt to steal any type of trust you have ever had.  And, it is on a warpath to rip your identity out from under you to where you can never actually believe that you are valuable, lovable, protected, or wanted.  It is sheer evil, and it needs to be stopped.

You see, we were never meant to live in fear.  We were made to come alive and to live and operate out of love.  And, there is ALWAYS HOPE in love.  Yesterday, doesn’t define me.  Even though I gave into fear yesterday, I WILL NOT give into fear today.  I’ve lived too many years under the slavery of fear, and its desire is to control me again.  But, it will not have that satisfaction.  Fear no longer has power in my life.  It doesn’t get to decide if it will rule my heart and mind.  It doesn’t get to determine how I interact with the ones I love.  It doesn’t get to speak lies that sound like truth to get me to believe them.  And, while I may have knocked a few pieces of the beautiful picture I was creating to the ground yesterday, I found them today, and I’m putting them back together.  The best part about knocking down the puzzle is that you see where you scattered the pieces, and you can remember what it is supposed to look like and how to get the pieces to fit back into the puzzle again.

It’s about direction not perfection.  And, my choice is to continue to live and grow in love and to bring that into the relationships around me.  I will live a full life filled to the brim with hope and joy because that is what I was created to do.  The people I love in my life will know beyond a shadow of a doubt how greatly and deeply they are loved, wanted, valued, cherished, appreciated, and respected because when they look in my eyes, they will see their true identity.  My choices will bring freedom and hope to people.  I am not, nor will I ever be again, a woman of destruction who operates out of fear.  From today forward, I will only build.  And the pieces that I have scattered, I will put back together today, and I will continue to make a life that reflects the beauty of Love no matter how easy or difficult it may be.

Putting the Pieces Together Again,

– The Lily

2 Corinthians 5:17 

“Therefore if anyone is in Christ [that is, grafted in, joined to Him by faith in Him as Savior], he is a new creature [reborn and renewed by the Holy Spirit]; the old things [the previous moral and spiritual condition] have passed away. Behold, new things have come [because spiritual awakening brings a new life].”

About Life

Loving Your Enemies

by iamthelilyLeave a Comment on Loving Your Enemies
Loving Your Enemies

In our current world we are faced with enemies everyday.  Even if they aren’t our own, we see the pictures of their victims on social media, and we see the pain of persecution on their faces.  We face enemies in our own lives whether big or small, and we are left with a choices.  The first choices we face are whether or not to forgive which is a lesson in and of itself, but once we choose to forgive we are faced with what can be an even more difficult choice – the choice to love.

Loving our enemies doesn’t make any logical sense.  I think many people confuse love with the acceptance of evil, and it leaves a bitter taste in the mouths of the victims.  But, what I am learning is that loving your enemies actually brings you freedom.  However, it is impossible to love your enemy if you don’t know who you are and how valuable you are.  If you come at it from a place of insecurity, then you will find yourself constantly trying to protect yourself.  You will see the need to point the finger at your enemy and hurl what may be “just” accusations toward him/her, but the truth is it will leave in you a never-ending cycle of pain.  And, all I can tell you is that you were meant to live a life of hope and love.

The truth is that no one would bring pain and harm into your life if they really knew who they were – LOVED.  People can only give out of the seeds that have been planted inside of them and that they have chosen to water.  If they have been watering lies, then those lies now have roots and unfortunately those lies are only out to steal, kill and destroy TRUTH.  Therefore, they will attempt to take down anyone and anything that stands in their way, thus resulting in spewing words of hate, stealing joy, betraying friends, rejoicing in selfish gain, living in pride, and the list goes on and on.  People who have forgotten and/or have never known their true value will spend their lives trying to steal the value they see in others for themselves which only brings pain to both parties should the victim allow it to happen.  (Please, understand that I know there are some situations where abuse is taking place, and I am not condoning or supporting any sort of abusive situation.)

This ugly cycle can stop.  It stops the moment we choose to forgive.  But, the best part is that the cycle is re-written the moment we choose to love.  It’s the moment we pray the same prayers we pray for ourselves over our enemies.  It’s the moment our hearts break for the people who are bringing us harm because we can see the pain they live in, and our hearts hurt for their lack of understanding of their true identity.  It’s the moment when fear leaves and Perfect Love walks in the room.  It’s the moment when jealousy is not an option and comparison fades.  It’s the moment when Truth takes the throne and self-protection dies.  It’s the moment of miracles.  It’s the invitation to change not only your world, but the world of everyone that person will encounter because you care just as much about their healing as your own.  And, the best part is that when you reach that place you find true freedom and hope.  You can live without fear and worry.  You can trust completely because you were created to trust the Living God, and He is the one who will sing songs of love over your life and protect your heart.  He will look on you for all of eternity with eyes of love, and He will remember every promise that He has ever spoken to you.  And, He will teach you about true LOVE to where you are so full that NOTHING can take away the knowledge of His goodness.  And, no one can steal your identity because it was never meant to be given to you by man but by the One who has the Eyes of Love.

Today, I challenge you to step into love.  Move beyond forgiveness and into love.  It will look differently for everyone.  It doesn’t mean that you necessarily will ever see your enemy again (or that you should), but it does mean that you can position your heart to pray for the pain inside of your enemy.  It does mean that you can pray for healing and love to reach that person.  Because if you have ever encountered true LOVE, you know how powerful it is.  It is a force that cannot be reckoned with, and it has the power to change even the ugliest of hearts and make it beautiful.  Love is in the business of bringing dead things to life.

Who knows the weight of the power you hold because you more than anyone on this earth have experienced some of the pain that your enemy has walked through because they shared it with you, so you have been given a gift to take that pain and pray for wholeness and healing in a way that only you can.  Who knows what miracles will happen as a result?  Who knows how many lives you will save from experiencing similar pain because you have chosen to love your enemy?  Who knows how much hope and life will come as a result of your love?  I guarantee that it will change the course of history.  And, you will be part of a miracle story that sets you free and full of  joy while unleashing a flood of transforming love on your enemy.  I know that it might be painful, but you don’t have to keep that pain.  You can give it to the One with the Eyes of Love, and I guarantee you that He will carry it for you.  And if it tries to come back, just give it back to Him again.  It can’t stay because it was never meant to be yours in the first place.  You were meant for freedom.  It’s time to come alive and step into love.  It’s time to break free.

Becoming a Lover,

– The Lily

Luke 6: 35-38

“But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. ‘Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.'”

 

About Life

It’s About Direction Not Perfection

by iamthelilyLeave a Comment on It’s About Direction Not Perfection
It’s About Direction Not Perfection

Many people including myself fall into the trap of believing that perfection trumps direction; however, when we align ourselves with this belief, we submit ourselves to bondage. Without realizing it, living under the law of perfection causes us to actually place shackles around our already freed wrists and ankles believing that imprisoning ourselves is a righteous and just act.  We take the whip and strike ourselves every time we fall short.  We listen to the lies of regret and guilt that heap on condemnation all the while accusingly pointing their gnarly fingers at us commanding us to put on even more shackles as the ones we had before were inadequate.  Thus chains keep coming without reprieve, and the most unfortunate part of this story is that we are both the tormentor and the tormented.

Living under the law of perfection comes in many forms.  It rears its head every time we are unable to receive forgiveness from others and/or ourselves.  It shows up in the guise of stress and anxiety.  It keeps us from being able to receive and believe that we are really and truly loved.  It believes that there is always a catch to a person’s kindness towards us as we have an underlying belief that we don’t deserve it.  It masquerades as the idea that there will always be someone better than us; therefore, we will never actually be able to achieve our dreams as someone else is more perfect/deserving.  It breaks down our spirit when we receive any kind of constructive criticism especially when that criticism is unwanted and/or goes against our own perception of the situation.  It stunts growth, and it creates victims and individuals who see failure as a death sentence.

The good news is that this isn’t how we were meant to live.  There IS a better way.  When we shift our motto from one of living under the oppressiveness of perfection to one of focusing on direction, we break free from our chains and are able to flourish.  We are able to begin to receive love as we realize that it is not about our performance or what we bring to the table.  We are able to accept constructive criticism as we are not afraid to grow.  We see failure as an opportunity to learn and become more than we were before.  We believe that we really are forgiven when we wrong others, and therefore our relationships are able to heal and deepen.  We no longer run and hide in shame when we mess up because we realize that our identity is not based on performance.  We allow ourselves the opportunity to live and love.  Instead of weakening ourselves, we strengthen ourselves and in doing so, we begin to change the world.

Through my experience, I have realized that I can only get so far in my own efforts.  I can choose to retrain my mind to come in alignment with this truth; however, when I pair it with the realization that I am loved by God Himself, I reach higher levels than I ever could have experienced on my own.  I can’t explain what happens other than a divine alliance between myself and Truth, and it is the most beautiful miracle I’ve ever experienced.  It is a place of intimacy that breeds life and freedom where grace flows abundantly.  So, I challenge you to invite God into this equation.  Ask Him to show you how to shift your mindset to align with this truth.  You might just be surprised to see how He answers you.

Growing in Grace,

– The Lily

Philippians 3:13-15

“Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you.”