Tag: hope

About Life

It’s About Direction Not Perfection

by iamthelilyLeave a Comment on It’s About Direction Not Perfection
It’s About Direction Not Perfection

Many people including myself fall into the trap of believing that perfection trumps direction; however, when we align ourselves with this belief, we submit ourselves to bondage. Without realizing it, living under the law of perfection causes us to actually place shackles around our already freed wrists and ankles believing that imprisoning ourselves is a righteous and just act.  We take the whip and strike ourselves every time we fall short.  We listen to the lies of regret and guilt that heap on condemnation all the while accusingly pointing their gnarly fingers at us commanding us to put on even more shackles as the ones we had before were inadequate.  Thus chains keep coming without reprieve, and the most unfortunate part of this story is that we are both the tormentor and the tormented.

Living under the law of perfection comes in many forms.  It rears its head every time we are unable to receive forgiveness from others and/or ourselves.  It shows up in the guise of stress and anxiety.  It keeps us from being able to receive and believe that we are really and truly loved.  It believes that there is always a catch to a person’s kindness towards us as we have an underlying belief that we don’t deserve it.  It masquerades as the idea that there will always be someone better than us; therefore, we will never actually be able to achieve our dreams as someone else is more perfect/deserving.  It breaks down our spirit when we receive any kind of constructive criticism especially when that criticism is unwanted and/or goes against our own perception of the situation.  It stunts growth, and it creates victims and individuals who see failure as a death sentence.

The good news is that this isn’t how we were meant to live.  There IS a better way.  When we shift our motto from one of living under the oppressiveness of perfection to one of focusing on direction, we break free from our chains and are able to flourish.  We are able to begin to receive love as we realize that it is not about our performance or what we bring to the table.  We are able to accept constructive criticism as we are not afraid to grow.  We see failure as an opportunity to learn and become more than we were before.  We believe that we really are forgiven when we wrong others, and therefore our relationships are able to heal and deepen.  We no longer run and hide in shame when we mess up because we realize that our identity is not based on performance.  We allow ourselves the opportunity to live and love.  Instead of weakening ourselves, we strengthen ourselves and in doing so, we begin to change the world.

Through my experience, I have realized that I can only get so far in my own efforts.  I can choose to retrain my mind to come in alignment with this truth; however, when I pair it with the realization that I am loved by God Himself, I reach higher levels than I ever could have experienced on my own.  I can’t explain what happens other than a divine alliance between myself and Truth, and it is the most beautiful miracle I’ve ever experienced.  It is a place of intimacy that breeds life and freedom where grace flows abundantly.  So, I challenge you to invite God into this equation.  Ask Him to show you how to shift your mindset to align with this truth.  You might just be surprised to see how He answers you.

Growing in Grace,

– The Lily

Philippians 3:13-15

“Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you.”
About Life

Real Hope

by iamthelily3 Comments on Real Hope
Real Hope

Real hope comes as a result of truth spoken in love and shielded by faith.  It rides on the wings of anticipation, and it shifts atmospheres.  It can be seen in the eyes of a child or in the smiles of the old.  It is more delicate than a flower, but stronger than an army.  It is water to the soul and a lamp to the misguided.  It brings life wherever it goes. It’s the fuel of miracles and the foundation of dreams.  And, it is real.

The beauty of hope is that it cannot disappoint when it rides on the wings of anticipation.  Anticipation allows us to await eagerly what is to come.  It keeps offense from entering our hearts and minds as it sees every circumstance as an opportunity for a miracle.  It keeps our hearts humble and teachable all the while allowing us to enter into the thrill of the unknown.  It creates a pathway for creativity to spring forth and awaken our passions. Hope then takes those passions and sets them on fire.

Real hope has eyes to see past old ways of thinking and the ability to lock in with the truth.  It can see the gold in any situation no matter what appears to be on the outside, and it doesn’t get confused when the gold is being refined.  You see, the gold is sometimes buried so deeply inside of our circumstances that before it can come to the surface and grow, it needs to be cleaned.  Unfortunately, sometimes when the cleansing waters come, the dirt surrounding the gold turns to mud, and the gold looks even worse than it did before.  But, true hope knows and believes that the bleakness of the mud is a result of something beautiful that is being formed.  Real hope doesn’t get distracted by the ugliness of the outer appearance.  It doesn’t get overwhelmed or fearful that the gold will be stuck in mud forever.  It doesn’t give up and drop the gold back in the dirt.  Real hope has the ability to see that the gold is still there, and that these circumstances are only purifying the gold to bring about its true value regardless of its appearance.

Hope brings about the miraculous.  It is a forerunner for the impossible, and it heals the soul.  Give yourself permission to live in anticipation and rely on hope.  Allow yourself to awaken to new passions, to heal, and to come alive.  And if you get caught in some mud through the process, take the time to find the gold.  You won’t be disappointed.

Looking for Gold,

– The Lily

Proverbs 10:28

“The hope of the righteous brings joy, but the expectation of the wicked will perish.”

About Life

Lies + Truth = Lies

by iamthelilyLeave a Comment on Lies + Truth = Lies

I think that some of the most hurtful lies are not the ones that are blatant and outright, but they are the ones that are sprinkled with truth.  They are the zingers laced in sarcasm, the truth framed in fear, and/or the hope tied to negative expectations.  The most devastating part of these lies is that there is a nugget of truth to them; however, the way in which the truth is communicated sets people up for more pain and confusion than most blatant lies.  These types of lies are masked with a sense of care that appeal to the need of the human heart to be loved, but even though there are bits of truth they are drowned out in the package that they come in – a lie.

These lies not only influence the recipient, but they set the giver up for failure as well.  They produce a sense of genuine care and concern for the other person.  The lies take on the assumption that because there is a bit of truth, then the package in which they are coming in is wrapped in true love and concern for the recipient’s well-being.  Thus, both parties are left reeling in confusion all the while believing that every word and feeling behind the words are evidence of real truth and care.  But, that is not the case.

Real truth can only be given in love.  And, love always hopes, it never gives up, it always believes the best, it is never self-seeking, it doesn’t boast, and it is always given without strings attached.  To discern whether or not your truth is laced in lies, take a step back and evaluate the feelings behind what you are communicating.  Are you picking up old shields of self-protection?  Are you speaking truth to get something in return?  Are you believing the best?

Speaking the truth and loving well requires us to lay down those shields of self-protection.  It asks us to give our trust to Hope and allow Faith and Love to protect us and meet the needs within our hearts.  It requires strength beyond what is humanly possible.  And, it can only truly be done when you find your true Hope and Love from the One who created them.  It’s time to stop lying, to love fiercely, and to hope fervently.  It’s time to trust.

Taking A Risk,

– The Lily

Isaiah 26:3
“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.”

 

 

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Deciding to Stop Self-destructing

by iamthelilyLeave a Comment on Deciding to Stop Self-destructing

It’s easy to attempt to protect myself.  Life has thrown and will continue to throw plenty of opportunities for me to choose to pick up my handcrafted shields and attempt to protect myself from hurt.  Believe me, I have an assortment of shields for every occasion – rejection, fear, confusion, disappointment, loss, etc.  I’ve got them all, but let me tell you something.  They DON’T work.  Well I take that back, they work to keep me stifled, trapped in fear, discouraged, bitter, confused, etc.  They shield me from who I am created to be and from my creative potential to be confident and bold in the knowledge that I am free and loved.

In the past, I’ve held up those shields thinking they were working for me instead of against me.  I thought that by staying hidden, I was saving myself from being hurt by people.   I would awkwardly hide behind my outgoing husband, my job, other friends, and the list continues.  I wouldn’t allow myself to just be completely me.  Even with the people closest to me, I would pick up my shields and attempt to make everyone happy, but I paid a price…me.  I missed out on the opportunity to see my value.  I missed out on the opportunity to not only enjoy being me but to LOVE it.

So, what did I do?  I took someone else’s armor and shield.  It’s true.  I shamelessly decided that mine weren’t working out very well, and I traded them.  My new shield is called Faith.  It has been forged through fire, and it cannot be destroyed.  It does not cause me to cower and hide in fear.   It doesn’t buckle under pressure, and it doesn’t melt in the face of lies.  And the best part is that it not only protects me, but it empowers me to see my true value.  And as a result, I’m becoming stronger everyday.   It is bringing me into freedom.

I found my shield from the One with the Eyes of Love.  I didn’t realize how many gifts He has for me.  I had no idea how good He is, nor did I understand that He desires to love and protect me.  He wants me to walk in joy every day.  Before, I assumed that He was sending messages about how He thought of me through the pain of my circumstances.  But, I was so wrong.  I’m on HIS side, and He WANTS to protect me.  And, guess what…I’m going to let Him.

With My Shield,

– The Lily

Ephesians 6:16
“In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one”
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Trading My Crown of Pity

by iamthelilyLeave a Comment on Trading My Crown of Pity

I’ve lived most of my life subconsciously thinking that the greatest act of glory I could bring myself was by proudly adorning my head with a crown of pity bejeweled with stones of false humility.  I walked around with my face downcast displaying the hardships of my life in a way that would hopefully cause others to notice the strength of my identity as I had faced more trials and pain than many would in a lifetime.  My tears and downtrodden countenance were a permanent tattoo for the world to see that my life had been marked in pain, and yet I was strong.  I believed there was a depth to me that was unparalleled because of the internal pain I suffered.  And the more pain I felt, the bigger my crown became and the larger my jewels.  I would never shout from a megaphone that I wanted the sympathy and empathy of others, but that is how I lived my life without saying a word.  And, what did I realize?

It is 100% a load of crap.  WHAT?!?!?!

Yes, it’s true.  The best way I can describe it is that I was living in a pile of dung thinking I was at a day spa.  I would rub the feces all over myself imagining that the warmth was comforting.  The wind would blow causing the stench to be drowned out by the smell of flowers down the field, and I would get lost in my pile of dung.  Those scents of floral ecstasy were the feelings of sentiment expressed by the ones I loved who would reach down grab a handful of dung and rub my back with it.  And, then there were the times where the wind would stop, and I would get a glimpse of reality.  Those were the times when the pain would become overwhelming and try to swallow me whole.  The highs and lows of my emotions were extreme, and they were controlling my life until recently.

I don’t have a magic formula for how to get out of a dung spa.  And, I wasn’t the one who got myself out of it.  There was a moment recently where while I was sitting in my pile of dung, I could see there were at least 5 more truck loads of feces backing up to add to my pile.  And, there was also a crown of pity at least 100x larger than the one I was wearing that was waiting for me if I chose to take it.  But for the first time in my life I had a moment of divine clarity in which I could see my mess for what it was, and I looked up and I saw the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen.  I saw the Eyes of Love, and as I got lost in His eyes, His hand reached down, grabbed my hand, and pulled me out of my mess.

When I stood before Him, the stench of my self-pity vanished.  He took my crown and tossed it to the side.  It had lost all of its previous glory and beauty.  In His presence, it looked dingy, tarnished, and cheap.  And, then I watched as He pulled from behind His back the most beautiful and simple crown I have ever seen.  It was the most delicate floral masterpiece covered in diamonds and reflecting the light of His eyes in a thousand directions.  He placed it on my head, and I began to spin.  As I twirled, I watched the light catch and send dancing sparkles in a thousand directions.  He put a smile on my face and love in my eyes where there had been pain and disappointment.  He gave me true beauty, and I will never be the same.

You won’t find me back in my old favorite spots because I’ve seen the truth.   You will never see me searching for that old crown because my life is now radiant, and I wear a crown of joy.  It’s not bejeweled with false humility but with hope.  And, I’ll keep spinning for as long as it takes for the world to catch the sparkles and trade their crowns for truth.  It’s only the beginning.

– The Lily

John 10:10

“The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance [to the full, till it overflows].”

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How I Made My Heart Sick

by iamthelilyLeave a Comment on How I Made My Heart Sick

I’m a dreamer.  I have aspirations of being a mother, changing the world, funding adoptions, going on wild adventures, traveling the earth, and more.  When I get a new idea, I can transport myself to the end goal and imagine what it will be like when I’m holding my first baby in my arms, when I see the smiles of families who have finally been able to afford adoption, when I glimpse the hope of the world having been changed, when I feel the excitement of adventure, and when I experience the thrill of learning about new cultures and people.  I can see it all.  And in my vision, I believe that it is possible…in fact more than possible…it’s a reality.

While all of these hopes are good, I have made my heart sick.  How is that even possible?  I have been deferring my passions.  I’ve squelched my creative potential, and I’ve backed down from the dreams.  I’ve allowed disappointments, the lack of instant gratification, words from my past, and lies from the present interfere with the opportunity for me to actually see my hopes come alive.   And, I had no idea what I was doing until recently.  I made an assumption that all of those disappointments and heartbreaking lies were the reality of truth, but they are NOT.

Of course, there are always things that are out of our control which can lead to shattered hopes and dreams, but why have I been adding to the pot?  Why have I allowed myself to make my heart sick?  When I think about it in this perspective, it makes me realize that I have acted like a fool by turning lies into truths and past disappointments into my future.  Since when do they get to control my life?

This is a new season.  It’s time to speak life and hope into our hearts, to watch our dreams become fulfilled, and to sit back and grin with the joy of perseverance.  It’s time to stop putting off our hopes and dreams.  Comparison is not an option as it will only continue to steal from the beauty of your dream becoming reality.  I challenge you to pursue your passions with perseverance and devotion, to allow yourself to dream, to close the door on your past disappointments, and to water the seeds of hope in your heart.  Let them flourish into a tree of life that will produce fruit.  It’s time to come alive.

Growing in Wisdom,

– The Lily

Proverbs 13: 12

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.”

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Love is Not Blind

by iamthelily2 Comments on Love is Not Blind

Love is blind is potentially one of the worst lies that people can believe.  The familiar phrase suggests that when you are loved by someone, you will never actually be seen and accepted for who you are.  There will either always be a foggy haze over the eyes of the person giving you love or that person will maintain total blindness throughout the entirety of your relationship.  The truth is that saying love is blind diminishes the weight and depth of love to something that is more self-serving.  It suggests that in any given relationship, love does not have the potential or capability of continuing if given the opportunity to completely see the truth of who you really are.

I think most Americans would agree that one of the most popular illustrations of love often found at wedding ceremonies can be found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a:

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.  It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never ends.”

And this is where I’m left troubled because if love really is defined by the actions above and the idea that love being blind is really true, then we are all doomed.  We will never then be able to actually receive love because we will never truly be seen.  So, which one is true?

Through my experience, I believe that it is IMPOSSIBLE for real love to be blind.  True love has to be selfless.  When love is selfless, it is not out to receive praise or attention.  Its confidence does not change based on how many likes or comments it receives.  It is not swayed when it is rejected or betrayed because it is ALWAYS rooted and grounded in truth.  It is able to look beyond situations, circumstances, and offense to fully see a person with eyes wide open.  It sees beyond the ugly to the gold buried deep inside, locks its gaze on the gold, and never stops loving until that gold overtakes the person from the inside-out causing them to radiate the beauty of their true identity.  When we say that love is blind, we actually continue to heap dirt over the gold that is buried inside of that person so that in order to find it one will need the deepest oil drill that has yet to be invented.

My identity will not be compromised, nor should yours.  Do not cheapen your value or fall prey to counterfeit definitions of love.  You are meant for more.  Before the creation of the world, you were being called by LOVE, and His name is Jesus.  If you want to know more about love, find a Bible and read the Book of John.  Even if you have never gone to church, opened a Bible, or even know what the heck I’m talking about, if there was any part of this that sparked your interest or brought new revelation to your value and/or love then why not give it a try?  What’s the worst that could happen?

You will always find what your heart is searching for, so keep searching for real love.  I guarantee that you will find it.

With Eyes Wide Open,

– The Lily

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Looking for Hope

by iamthelilyLeave a Comment on Looking for Hope

It’s the start of 2017, and I must say that I feel like I have entered in with a whirl of declarations, hope and purpose…only to be hit with an onslaught of negative thoughts, old and ugly memories, and a sense of purposelessness.  Why is it that so often when we are able to muster up the discipline needed to declare a new season in life, that it often feels like we lace up our shoes, put a huge smile on, spin on our heals anticipating the exhilaration of destiny only to run smack dab into a brick wall.  [Side note: This reminds me of the time when my teasing husband grabbed my arm to keep me from going to the kitchen, but instead the force of my attempted escape ended up throwing me smack dab into the hallway wall where my nose and the wall became extremely intimate a little too quickly. haha]  But, honestly that’s how life often feels like when we make decisions to change.

So, what do we do about it?  In the past, I’ve found myself give up.  I start listening to the negative thoughts and believing that they are true.  I start comparing myself to the endless perfect smiles on social media, I look at all of my friends who appear to be living the dream, and I grab my favorite snack while sitting on the couch filling my mind with useless tv shows pretending that my short little escape is actually true comfort when it is nowhere close.  And, I do this over and over again until I have thoroughly validated my pain and self-medicated with all of the things that bring me “comfort.”  And, it’s completely okay and well deserved because I of course am the “only one” who has ever been this lonely, disappointed, hurt, rejected, etc.  Unfortunately, the cycle never ends…until now.

This year is different.  I haven’t had a radical mindset shift.  My emotions and the negative/discouraging feelings have not subsided (if anything they have increased), but something has changed.  I planted a seed.  I planted a seed of truth that will grow because I will not stand in its way.  What’s this magical seed?  It’s certainly not a magical bean from Jack.  No, it’s something better than that.  It’s a seed of truth that my emotions will not dictate my life.  In fact, my emotions are subject to what I choose, and this year I’m choosing truth.  And, the truth is that I am AMAZING.  The truth is that if I could switch places with anyone on this earth (past, present or future), I wouldn’t because I would never get the opportunity to see the masterpiece that is me.  And, I want a ticket on that ride.  I want to watch my life unfold.  I want to live unselfishly and alive.  I want to love with passion and devotion.  I want to give life-giving freedom to everyone I meet, and I want to bring as many people with me as possible.

So, as you start this new year, will you join me?  Let’s take a chance on the impossible.  What if, this was a year of freedom from letting the fear of disappointment paralyze you from dreaming?  What if this was the  year you took a risk?  What if this was the year you reached your goals?  What if this was the year you could celebrate the success of others?  What if this was the year that when you looked in the mirror you smiled?  What if this was the year you looked at life with anticipation instead of expectation?

No one can force you, and I guarantee that this journey will be challenging.  But, will you take it with me?  I want to live a life that is loud and free, and I don’t want to do it alone.  I’m choosing to believe in the truth that will set me free from the control of my emotions and the negative thoughts that ensue.  It’s time to light the world on fire.  It’s time to awaken love.  And, it’s time to dream.

Let’s step into the impossible, and see it as the normal thing to do.

With Anticipation,

The Lily