Every Christmas my husband and I buy a puzzle to put together. This tradition has allowed us to unintentionally slow down while affording us the opportunity to connect. I normally put the puzzle out at the beginning of December, and it takes a few weeks for us to put it together. We spend the time finding the right pieces while talking about our dreams, reflecting on the past, and enjoying the present. As we connect, we continually find ourselves looking back at the picture on the box to make sure that we are on the right track. These are some of my all-time favorite moments because for a few hours each day it feels as if I’m transported into a simpler time where dreams are made while neighbors are caroling and hearts are intertwined over steamy mugs of cocoa. It’s funny because these are some of the moments I cherish the most because of how closely connected I feel to my husband during those hours.
Once our puzzle is finished, we will leave it on display for a week or so, but then comes the day when we take it down. The funny thing is that we both put so much work into it, but normally it is only one of us who puts it away. Instead of hours it took to build, it only takes about 30 seconds to break it apart and put it back in the box. And, unfortunately sometimes the puzzle box tips over and a piece or two gets lost into the abyss never to be found again.
Yesterday, felt like one of those puzzle demolition days. As I was reflecting today on all that occurred yesterday, I realized how easy it is to destroy beautiful things, and at the same time how much time, energy, and commitment it takes to build something beautiful. This is especially true with the relationships in our lives. It’s true that we either operate out of fear or love – that’s it. Every thought that enters our brains, every word we say, every action we take, they are all motivated out of one or the other. And, both take time to cultivate and mature; however, I believe that it is easier to choose fear more consistently. The harder choice for me tends to be love, especially in the relationships I have with the people I care about the most. You see, the truth is that I don’t want to get hurt, and therefore…I attempt to pick back up those old dingy worthless shields I’ve made for myself. You know, the ones that don’t work and actually make things worse? Yeah, for some reason my brain sometimes gets tricked into not completely separating myself from them.
Yesterday, I chose to see the world through fear in an attempt to protect myself, and as a result I hurt not only myself, but also people that I love. The worse part about it is that NOTHING about fear is LOGICAL. It operates out of lies and influences our imaginations to think of the MOST ABSURD things. And, if we allow it to creep in or give it a voice, it does much more than simply change our lens of perception. Additionally, fear hurls situations, memories, conspiracies, and more lies at us because it knows that we are no longer looking through the lens of love and truth. And, that’s where it begins destroying not only us but also the people we love and trust. It’s like a tornado – it is always changing course and we never know quite how destructive it will be, but what I can tell you is that it will ALWAYS bring pain.
Fear will take years of positive and intimate relationships with family and friends and attempt to destroy them all within a month or two. And, then as you begin to rebuild those relationships, it will lace kind words and true love with poison to where every time you go to receive love it is twisted and ends up wreaking of death and ill will. It will attempt to steal any type of trust you have ever had. And, it is on a warpath to rip your identity out from under you to where you can never actually believe that you are valuable, lovable, protected, or wanted. It is sheer evil, and it needs to be stopped.
You see, we were never meant to live in fear. We were made to come alive and to live and operate out of love. And, there is ALWAYS HOPE in love. Yesterday, doesn’t define me. Even though I gave into fear yesterday, I WILL NOT give into fear today. I’ve lived too many years under the slavery of fear, and its desire is to control me again. But, it will not have that satisfaction. Fear no longer has power in my life. It doesn’t get to decide if it will rule my heart and mind. It doesn’t get to determine how I interact with the ones I love. It doesn’t get to speak lies that sound like truth to get me to believe them. And, while I may have knocked a few pieces of the beautiful picture I was creating to the ground yesterday, I found them today, and I’m putting them back together. The best part about knocking down the puzzle is that you see where you scattered the pieces, and you can remember what it is supposed to look like and how to get the pieces to fit back into the puzzle again.
It’s about direction not perfection. And, my choice is to continue to live and grow in love and to bring that into the relationships around me. I will live a full life filled to the brim with hope and joy because that is what I was created to do. The people I love in my life will know beyond a shadow of a doubt how greatly and deeply they are loved, wanted, valued, cherished, appreciated, and respected because when they look in my eyes, they will see their true identity. My choices will bring freedom and hope to people. I am not, nor will I ever be again, a woman of destruction who operates out of fear. From today forward, I will only build. And the pieces that I have scattered, I will put back together today, and I will continue to make a life that reflects the beauty of Love no matter how easy or difficult it may be.
Putting the Pieces Together Again,
– The Lily
2 Corinthians 5:17
“Therefore if anyone is in Christ [that is, grafted in, joined to Him by faith in Him as Savior], he is a new creature [reborn and renewed by the Holy Spirit]; the old things [the previous moral and spiritual condition] have passed away. Behold, new things have come [because spiritual awakening brings a new life].”
I AM THE LILY 