Tag: selfish

About Life

Lies + Truth = Lies

by iamthelilyLeave a Comment on Lies + Truth = Lies

I think that some of the most hurtful lies are not the ones that are blatant and outright, but they are the ones that are sprinkled with truth.  They are the zingers laced in sarcasm, the truth framed in fear, and/or the hope tied to negative expectations.  The most devastating part of these lies is that there is a nugget of truth to them; however, the way in which the truth is communicated sets people up for more pain and confusion than most blatant lies.  These types of lies are masked with a sense of care that appeal to the need of the human heart to be loved, but even though there are bits of truth they are drowned out in the package that they come in – a lie.

These lies not only influence the recipient, but they set the giver up for failure as well.  They produce a sense of genuine care and concern for the other person.  The lies take on the assumption that because there is a bit of truth, then the package in which they are coming in is wrapped in true love and concern for the recipient’s well-being.  Thus, both parties are left reeling in confusion all the while believing that every word and feeling behind the words are evidence of real truth and care.  But, that is not the case.

Real truth can only be given in love.  And, love always hopes, it never gives up, it always believes the best, it is never self-seeking, it doesn’t boast, and it is always given without strings attached.  To discern whether or not your truth is laced in lies, take a step back and evaluate the feelings behind what you are communicating.  Are you picking up old shields of self-protection?  Are you speaking truth to get something in return?  Are you believing the best?

Speaking the truth and loving well requires us to lay down those shields of self-protection.  It asks us to give our trust to Hope and allow Faith and Love to protect us and meet the needs within our hearts.  It requires strength beyond what is humanly possible.  And, it can only truly be done when you find your true Hope and Love from the One who created them.  It’s time to stop lying, to love fiercely, and to hope fervently.  It’s time to trust.

Taking A Risk,

– The Lily

Isaiah 26:3
“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.”

 

 

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Love is Not Blind

by iamthelily2 Comments on Love is Not Blind

Love is blind is potentially one of the worst lies that people can believe.  The familiar phrase suggests that when you are loved by someone, you will never actually be seen and accepted for who you are.  There will either always be a foggy haze over the eyes of the person giving you love or that person will maintain total blindness throughout the entirety of your relationship.  The truth is that saying love is blind diminishes the weight and depth of love to something that is more self-serving.  It suggests that in any given relationship, love does not have the potential or capability of continuing if given the opportunity to completely see the truth of who you really are.

I think most Americans would agree that one of the most popular illustrations of love often found at wedding ceremonies can be found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a:

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.  It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never ends.”

And this is where I’m left troubled because if love really is defined by the actions above and the idea that love being blind is really true, then we are all doomed.  We will never then be able to actually receive love because we will never truly be seen.  So, which one is true?

Through my experience, I believe that it is IMPOSSIBLE for real love to be blind.  True love has to be selfless.  When love is selfless, it is not out to receive praise or attention.  Its confidence does not change based on how many likes or comments it receives.  It is not swayed when it is rejected or betrayed because it is ALWAYS rooted and grounded in truth.  It is able to look beyond situations, circumstances, and offense to fully see a person with eyes wide open.  It sees beyond the ugly to the gold buried deep inside, locks its gaze on the gold, and never stops loving until that gold overtakes the person from the inside-out causing them to radiate the beauty of their true identity.  When we say that love is blind, we actually continue to heap dirt over the gold that is buried inside of that person so that in order to find it one will need the deepest oil drill that has yet to be invented.

My identity will not be compromised, nor should yours.  Do not cheapen your value or fall prey to counterfeit definitions of love.  You are meant for more.  Before the creation of the world, you were being called by LOVE, and His name is Jesus.  If you want to know more about love, find a Bible and read the Book of John.  Even if you have never gone to church, opened a Bible, or even know what the heck I’m talking about, if there was any part of this that sparked your interest or brought new revelation to your value and/or love then why not give it a try?  What’s the worst that could happen?

You will always find what your heart is searching for, so keep searching for real love.  I guarantee that you will find it.

With Eyes Wide Open,

– The Lily